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    Ghosts of the Past

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    HAIR
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    Ghosts of the Past

    Post by HAIR on Thu Sep 04, 2014 1:21 am

    Part 1- Where It Begins


    The story opens with two men walking down old metal stairs with

    grey cement walls on both sides. The one in front has a long beige

    trench coat on with suede gloves also beige, as well as rectangular

    glasses and hair down to his jackets collar both were brown. The

    man following him wear black insulated jacket and gloves, his hair

    semi- curly and short. By now they had reached the bottom with a

    metal door to their right and a large and closed metal gate in front

    of them. The one in front walked to the metal door and banged on it

    three times. While the second man leaned against the gate. After

    about a minute a slot that was about eye level slid open, the only

    thing the two could see was someone's eyes. "How very Wizard of

    Oz" thought the beige wearing man sarcastically. "Who are you and

    why are you here?" the man on the other side of the door

    demanded. "My name is Allen as for my friend over there" Allen

    answered back, pointing to the man leaning against the gate "He's

    Jesse and to why we're here its to duel your leader" Allen stated

    simply. "Fine your funeral" the door man muttered under his breath,

    "One moment" he finished by closing the slot.


    As soon as the man couldn't see them Allen turned to face Jesse "Ok

    duel disk please" Allen told Jesse who had been holding it since they

    got out of the car ten minutes ago, the disk was Allen's he just

    didn't feel like carrying it. (Flashback To Two Days Ago) Allen and a

    unknown man wearing a blue winter coat were dueling in a snow

    covered park. As for the state of the duel- (Man in blue= 1000 lp/

    Allen= 600 lp), man in blue has two cards in hand a Spirit

    Reaper(300 atk/ 200 def) and the trap monster Metal Reflect

    Slime(0 atk/ 3000 def) both in defense, and finally a face down that

    both duelists knew was Scrap Iron Scarecrow. Allen on the other

    had no monsters, spells or trap in play with no cards in hand. "Looks

    like your luck ran out" the man in blue said with a grin. This caused

    Allen to look at Jesse knowing what the other thought of "luck".

    "Alright my draw" Allen said simply, I have a defense in both

    monsters and traps and what do you have? questioned the man in

    blue. "Good question I have a card that's as old as the game itself"

    Allen stated back. "What?" questioned the man in blue, "I play

    Monster Reborn" declared Allen. "But my defense" the man in blue

    said "Is pointless at least to him" stated Allen. "Now I revive Super

    Conductor Tyranno then send him back to the grave to inflict 1000

    points via his effect" Allen said, as monster was being sent to the

    grave lightning streamed from the graveyard aimed at the man in

    blue(Man in blue= 0 lp/ Allen= 600 lp). Just as the lightning hit the

    man in blue he fell face first into the snow. "Crap" Allen said

    watching him fall he then turned to Jesse "Grab the legs" he

    ordered, "What?" Jesse said back. "Look one he's in three inches of

    snow, two its like ten degrees out here and three he still has the

    location and info I need" Allen stated rising his voice.


    (About Two Hours Later) The man in blue now without his coat and

    gloves slowly opened his eyes only to find himself in a unfamiliar

    setting a twelve by twelve room with a closet and a single window

    as he got up he heard someone at the door. "Good you're up how'd

    you feel ?" the man asked, "Fine just have a headache by the way

    my name is Jason" he answered. "Good, my names Jesse as for who

    you were dueling that would be Allen hold on don't move" Jesse said

    walking out of the doorway and went down into the basement, as

    soon as Jesse left Jason remembered who that had been "He

    watched the duel" Jason thought. Finally at the bottom of the stairs

    Jesse turned the corner to see a couch with a beige cover over it

    just like it had been three years ago. Upon hear someone coming

    down the steps Allen sat up to see Jesse. "Hey look they kept the

    couch makes sense right I mean it was the only thing here back

    when I first moved in" Allen said enjoying the moment. "April two

    thousand four remember?" Allen asked, "Of course I walked through

    it with your family also that guys awake and I told him our names

    his is Jason" Jesse finished. "Names huh?" Allen questioned as he

    went up the steps after grabbing a bottle of both water and pills

    then finally a Wendy's bag.


    Now all three were in the room Jason sitting/leaning against a

    corner he looked up as the two came back in. "So just curious you in

    pain?" Allen asked, "Yeah didn't he tell you" answered Jason

    pointing to Jesse. "No" Allen replied back looking at Jesse who

    simply said "Headache". "Works for me" Allen stated, "Wait how?"

    Jason asked confused. "Here take one of these" Allen said seemly

    ignoring the question while throwing a large white pill at him. "While

    I'm at it here's a bag of burger, fries, and chicken nuggets" Allen

    commented "Oh and a bottle of water too" he finished. "What???"

    said Jason who at this point was very confused the others could see

    this. "Ok one the pill is for the pain, two when we carried you here

    your stomach was growling and three as payment I want the

    location of the club and any info you can think of" Allen finished. "Oh

    right our deal you win you learn where it is" Jason said while

    handing Jesse a card from his wallet. "Well first there's the leader he

    came out of no where about six months ago dueled our the current

    leader at the time and won, after that our old leader left from the

    duel he never came back, when you lose against him he takes your

    deck and finally he has six body guards that don't duel just stand

    there" Jason stated while taking a breath. "Then I guess the next

    thing would be the setting shock collars while you duel, it's in a

    lower level almost like a basement and finally you have to beat his

    two guards all in front of at least twelve security cameras before

    getting to him and he only duels on weekends so the earliest would

    be in two days.(End Flashback)


    "You know it's a good thing you knew where this place was" said

    Allen looking at the card they got from Jason. "Like I said before

    once he handed me the card I knew the street" Jesse replied back.

    At this point Allen already had his duel disk on and was waiting for

    the door man to come back with some kind of answer. After ten

    more minutes of waiting both the metal gate and metal door where

    the door man was opened. "Duels in the courtyard" said the man

    coming out of the door moments before it closed. The man like them

    looked to be in his early twenties however he had blond hair and a

    buzz cut. Allen went to the back of what the blond had called a

    courtyard and faced where the gate had been. The blond stayed in

    the right inside the gateway as Jesse leaned against the same wall

    as the metal door but still inside. That's when they noticed who Allen

    figured to be the door man "Club rules" he grinned placing five

    bands on him and the blond "One for each limb" thought Allen as all

    four of them knew to be shock collars. "I'll be your first opponent

    you can call me Rob, you're first by the way" said the blond as he

    drew five cards. With that Allen drew six cards and saw the door

    man go back into the "Club". (Allen= 8000 lp/ Rob= 8000 lp)


    To Be Continued...


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    MnRebel27
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    Re: Ghosts of the Past

    Post by MnRebel27 on Thu Sep 11, 2014 4:06 pm

    I'm intrigued by the story simply bc I don't know everything that's going on. I like that. It keeps people wanting more.

    However, I must say that the flashback jump could be done better. There wasn't a real transition. For an example, you could say something like, "That brings to mind what happened two days ago...". I also think you should type it in a text editor that has spell/grammar check bc there are several issues with the grammar. I think the spelling was good for the most part.

    Anyways, that's about it. Hope I helped out~


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